Gotcha! I have no idea. Trying though.
There was this page going around recently:
http://www.creativitypost.com/psychology/18_things_highly_creative_people_do_differently1
“18 Things Highly Creative People Do Differently” Which is so nice, if you aren’t a mother. But here goes:
Daydream : at red lights
They observe everything. True, mostly at the playground, or at really awkward moments at school with other parents who have no idea what the hell you are talking about. While you desperately try to focus on a conversation about kids or work, they have no idea how you can literally see 5 conversations happening at once and all the emotions connected with those conversations: including the body language and how you are trying to remember to capture all that perfect tension later.
They work the hours that work for them. This is so cute! Yes, of course, working at night makes complete sense when your kids wake up at 6am and have to be driven to school or actually paid attention to.
They take time for solitude. Ok, this one I got: bathrooms. I have my kids thinking I poop for an hour. Also: closets. And the corners of playgrounds.
They turn life’s obstacles around. This is confusing. My children are obstacles. Do I turn them around?
They seek out new experiences. Ooh ooh! Me! Me! [hand wildly waving] I do have time for this. Sometimes it is used for procrastination purposes. (Am I procrastinating right now? Maybe) But yes: dance classes, psychology classes, acting class (starting in a few weeks, god help me) new metals if I am working in jewelry, new shapes, new pieces. new paints or brushes, or paper or whew. However: new experiences backfire if you are trying to move forward, yes? Because you are only as good as you practice. If you are only dipping a toe in you never really sink in to get great.
They “fail up.” Parenting is all about failure. It’s a million chances to fail a day. You have so many ways to phrase a sentence, to respond to someone’s inquiry, to deal with whining, complaining, screaming, breakdancing, paper airplanes flying in from the back of the car, oh you get it. And you fail most of the time to say “that thing” that you read in that book that makes kids perfect. But most of the time I keep trying, and a lot of the time I ask for help from professionals.
They ask the big questions. The big questions. Hmm. Interesting, like how are we going to pay for college when all I want to do is play with paints and fire and metal and wake up when I want and work when I want? Oh and no, I don’t have a gallery or any marketing skills what – so – ever. WHATSOEVER. So the big questions are: How do I remain creative and get lost in it when it’s no longer about me at all anymore? What is my work? Is it something to sell so I make money so my kids can .. what?
They people-watch. One of my least favorite phrases: “no-brainer, dude” Yes. Constantly. Nothing like it on earth. People’s bodies are fascinating, the way they hold tension is especially fascinating, how they protect themselves from other people, how they check people out. How people hug when they are meeting but don’t know each other very well.
They take risks. I think moving out to California with a relative stranger and abandoning all my close friends in New York is pretty risk-takey. Having kids is particularly risk-takey since you can’t return them. Did you know that? You can’t just decide to walk out, or I guess you CAN but you don’t. They are your mess. I also have to try new things for them, or get out of my own comfort zone for them as well. It can be really scary, but growth is scary. Change is scary. Being really bad at something is also scary: parenting! Trying to understand what is a good risk and a bad risk.
They view all of life as an opportunity for self-expression. Hmm. Yes, but that might be a little embarrassing for the kiddo, you know? Lets keep that one on the down low for now.
They follow their true passions. [after much laughter] True Passions. True passions. True passions! I get it. No, no I don’t.
They get out of their own heads. Well, that would be kind of dangerous. I mean, for sure, I like a glass or 5 of wine and that’s pretty good but it’s usually while they are asleep. But no more drugs. Oh, sorry, they mean daydreaming again. Right, yes, lots of daydreams happen while I chop garlic and onions. I cook because if I am standing in the kitchen, no one bothers me. The minute I sit down and look even remotely relaxed, all hell breaks loose.
They lose track of the time. Oh “flow state” how I love you. It is so amazing. And yes: I do still experience it though it took a long time to teach myself that yes, I can get work done between 10am- 2:50pm I can get into a flow, I can also stop mid flow even though it is wildly painful and begin again the next day or (what usually happens) the following week. I have a monthly creative cycle however, and that is completely broken apart. Once I get better at understanding my own work flow, I can alter it to fit in with the small children schedule. That’s a goal. I also think a lot about the work while away from it.
They surround themselves with beauty. And pee pee
They connect the dots. I’m really suppose to let my kids learn on their own, no?
They constantly shake things up. Does going from a relatively punk rock itunes soundtrack to adding Pharrell and Knarles Barkley count because my kids like it? No, kids constantly shake you up. They are growing and changing every second. Their brains need different things from day to day, understanding their developing minds and keeping up with them, adjusting what you say, how much you say (or explain) for every moment. I am always jogging in my head it feels like, ready to sprint when necessary. I can never quite sit with things the way I used to: and that is good and bad. Sometimes we overthink, and we need to move on. Sometimes we do need time to mull and I don’t have as much time for that. But man, am I shaken up.
They make time for mindfulness. Ok, yes, I do this. My kids do yoga. Granted, we aren’t rising up to greet the day with meditation by any means, but we do try to teach some sort of something. Along with yelling.
emilogue 